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Grace like a Pool Noodle

In the learning how to swim spectrum of parenting - Dustin and I jumped into the deep end without floaties.

In one year we went from praying for a baby - to praying for ways to handle when your traumatized children are traumatizing each other (only kidding - siblings are rough!).

I want to tell you that we are rocking it and maybe from your standpoint where everything is blurry it might seem that way. Seriously, the backs of their heads are incredibly photogenic.

But guys, this is rough. I have loved more than I thought was possibly, raised my voice {that is putting it politely} more than I imagined myself doing, been humbled more than I thought possible, had my heart torn in so many ways with conflicting feelings at the same time, and expected our inner circle to be there for us 10x more than we have been there for them.

In a matter of minutes I can go from changing the world to taking controlled breaths outside in attempts to change my attitude.

In an awful moment of admittance: there are times I am glad you can tell we are not a biological family at the moment because I do not want to be responsible for this blessed mess.

This is one of those times where you say whoa God, I said I would sacrifice and be humbled for your glory.... but isn’t this a little much for me? I am young. I do not have the experience. Maybe you sent the calling a little too strong.

Even as I type this I start to smile because I know better. I know He does not call the equipped - He equips they called. I know he uses us at our weakest to show His strength. It makes me want to erase this entire emotional post.... but why did I stop my shower to write this all out if it was not meant to be shared.

So this is for you: emotional friend, struggling coworker, overwhelmed mom, frightened retiree, exhausted family member. We are all at this point of emotions that make us panic and flail our arms, that make us feel like the water is overwhelming us and these are the last few moments of staying afloat.

But it is not.

I will keep kicking, I will keep using all my might to keep my head above water. And you know what? I think I might look over and see you. I will reach out.

And then giggle as my mom hands us pool noodles - because if you have met my mom you know how awesome she is at being there for anyone at the right time.

My last post was about reaching your full potential, stepping into the light, and spreading your worth to the world with what God has planned from you. — I truly believe Satan heard me read that out loud and tried to break me.

There will be times where the temporary moment feels like failure and your pride hurts so much. But take your eyes off the water splashing in your face and look to the side to see grace like a pool noodle coming your way.

I am thinking my analogies lately need as much work as my FULL trust in God.

Bear with me on my raw emotional journey I decided to share with you guys. I know your journey is just as raw, so I want you to know I am here with you. Jumping, splashing, floating together. Cheers!


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